Signs That You Have Sexual Compatibility

Ohhhh, sexual compatibility! This beautiful connection describes how well your sexual desires and needs mesh with someone else’s. Sometimes sexual compatibility appears as an immediate spark and other times you have to work at it (which could be fun!). But you can always put the work in to make this connection stronger. 

Now with that being said, whether it’s the first time you’re meeting someone or you’ve being in a long-term relationship, it’s definitely helpful to know what some of the compatibility signs are.

So here are one’s to consider:

1. You’ve felt instant sparks.

Maybe you realized you were flirting without even trying or noticed that you were experiencing signs of arousal like clammy hands or a rise in body temperature.

If this sounds familiar, congratulations! I’d say you’re definitely attracted to this person and those sensations will serve you well in bed when you start learning each other’s bodies and sexual styles.

2. Both of you know the type of sex you want and desire.

If you aren’t sure what you want, how will you know when you’ve found it? Self-knowledge is extremely important when it comes to sexual compatibility. But where do you start? Great question! Try starting with your fantasies while you’re alone and/or when masturbating. What’s the vibe like (kinky, romantic, etc)? Who do you picture being with you? Where are you in this fantasy?

Understanding what kind of sex you’re wanting and looking for will help you and your partner be more sexually compatible.

3. You are both willing to compromise.

It’s completely okay if you and your partner don’t have the same sexual needs and desires. I promise that you’re not doomed to have horrible sex. Remember that collaboration in the bedroom is key! You both have to work together to ensure everyone is feeling good and having a great time.

However, if there is too much rigidity and little to no compromise when it comes to sex then you might not be sexually compatible.

4. You both can talk about sex openly. 

Our society has made talking about sex taboo and awkward for wayyyy too long, but when it comes to sexual compatibility, communication is lubrication. Sure chemistry is a great starting point, but being able to talk about sex (boundaries, fantasies, and consent) and what you want from your partner is how you keep the chemistry going.

If you and your partner are able to have caring, thoughtful, and curious communication about sex, then take that as a good sign you’re sexually compatible.

Communication leads to both mutual understanding and a stronger connection.

5. There’s equal effort where you care about each other’s pleasure.

Let’s be honest, if your partner isn’t willing to invest time in your sex life right now, how likely is it that they will want to 20 or 30 years from now?

Once the excitement and thrill of a new partner and/or new relationship wears off, the one thing left that will keep sexual satisfaction going is the effort you both put in. Like a great meal or great event, a great sex life is created, so if your partner as invested as you in keeping your sex life exciting, fun, and playful, then that’s a pretty good sign that your sexual compatibility. 

Now to add on to that, remember that you aren’t just in it for the orgasm (even though that is a pretty amazing bonus). You want your partner to feel good too – so make sure you’re balancing greed and generosity. If you can manage to do this and are committed to keeping this dynamic for years to come, then you definitely have something special.

You got this!

-Taylor